It's so "people-y"

Today, friends, was Grocery Day.

Every mom (and lots of dads) know what that means.

Woke up at 7:30 because 6 needed breakfast. NEEDED breakfast at 7:30 am on a Saturday. It goes a little like this. 6: It's already and hour past breakfast time. I want cinnamon toast crunch. Me: You at the last of it last night for a snack. 6: I want French toast sticks. Me: We don't have any 6: Can I have toast? Me: We're out of bread 6: Me: 6: Well I guess you need to go put some pants on and get your shoes so you can go buy me something. Me:🙄🙄😳😳 Fast forward 2 hours and 2 meltdowns (the poptarts had the wrong color icing and the apple juice should have come out of the other bottle) later and we're loaded in the van headed to get groceries. I pull into the parking lot and there are NO FUCKING parking spots within any reasonable distance. We might as well be parked in Sacramento or on Jupiter (not sure which one would be closer). Turn van off, get 6 out of his seat because even though he's ridiculously tall....he weighs 37 lbs so he'll be in a 5 point harness for another 47 years. Walk across the parking lot dodging people and cars trying to pull into imaginary parking spots. Enter the store to 7 carts...YES...7 that's it. At this point I'm considering turning around and going back to the van, but since I've already walked the length of 13 football fields to get into the store...we're doing this. 6: How long are we going to be here Me: Probably until Tuesday I weave in and out of aisles, "ope, excuse me", "ope, just gonna squeeze by here", "ope, can I grab one of those please?", and throw shit in the cart as fast as I can. Starting to wish someone would throw a handful of powdered sugar in the air and scream "ANTHRAX" to make the aisles a little less crowded. How are there this many people in the flipping store? THERE IS NO SNOW in the forecast! THERE IS NO FUCKING MILK, either. How does a grocery store NOT have milk on a Saturday morning? 6: I'm bored. Me: Well dude, I'm kinda busy pushing the cart and dodging humans and clicklist pullers. 6: That's a cop...you shouldn't be so mean. Now we've made it to the frozen section. I'm not even focusing now. I'm just putting shit in the cart like the apocalypse is coming and I'm never going to see this place again (cruel joke...I'll be back once again later in the day and 4 times on Tuesday). Cart's full. I cannot shove anything else in it. OMG what have I done. Get to the checkout. Start unloading . And unloading. And unloading. And unloading. Now I'm questioning my decisions. Do we really need all this shit? When did we start needing all this shit? Okay, no bagger available....I'll do it. It's like riding a bike... the older you get the harder it is and the more aware you are about how bad you suck at it. Cashier: You're total is $286.97 Me: Huh? 6: WHOA MOM, you are rich!!?? Me: Hands over coupons and shopper card and reminds myself to breathe. Cashier: Now it's $207 I pay the lady and proceed out to the van. Load everything up. 6: I'm hungry Me: well, I just spent 207 bucks on groceries. You can eat when we get home. 6: How about we go to McDonald's nc you didn't buy good lunch stuff Me: *dying inside* fine *I don't have any fight left* Pull into McDonald's and HOLY HELL...there are 11 cars in line...and now we're stuck. Why does EVERY HUMAN need to be where I want to go?! Seriously considering going to buy powdered sugar and create a panic on my own...take one for the team. Get our food and head down the road home. Pull in the driveway and open all the doors. Get 6 out of his seat. Have the audacity to ask him to carry his iPad and juice in. WTF was I thinking? Carry ALL HIS SHIT in. Tell 16 to come help with groceries. Go back out to get some more bags and then back in and out again. SCREAM for 16 to come help and throw in one of my ridiculous ultimatums for good measure. "HELP GET THE SHIT IN OR YOU'RE NOT EATING THIS WEEKEND" 16 is FINALLY outside. He carries a 12 pack of soda in. ONE. Singular. Uno. Groceries are finally in....now to put them away. 6: I need lunch. I don't want these chicken nuggets, they're making my throat hurt. *throws happy meal in trash* 16: When are you cooking lunch and what's for dinner. Me: GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN OR NO ONE IS EATING EVER AGAIN. Groceries are put up. 16: *comes out* *grabs 6 slices of bread, puts 4 pieces of bologna and 10 pieces of ham on bread* *dumps 1/2 bag of doritos on his plate* When are you cooking dinner? Me: 😳😳🤬🤬🤬🤯🤯🤯 What's that?! 16: Just a snack Me: Wtf man?! 16: Oh, did you get any ramen? Y'all I bought the ENTIRE FUCKING grocery store and my kid wants ramen. I. GIVE. UP.