Grown Overnight

2,554 Days ago I couldn't even imagine how my life would change.

Two days later...you were here. You came fast and you came loud and interested.

I spent the first 48 hours finding out how little I knew about being your mommy.

I couldn't change your diaper right. I couldn't nurse the way I wanted. I got water in your face during your first bath.

They let me bring you home anyway.

Each day I figured out a little more. I became a pro at knowing your cry, nursing, baths, and diaper changes. I was a pro at snuggles and swaddles. You grew and changed. I blinked and you were 1.

You crawled. You laughed. You played.

You didn't talk. Not a peep. Not a word.

For the next year we did therapy 3 times a week.

I called doctor after doctor. I took you for assessments. No answers. Just waiting.

Mama, Daddad, bilk. Those were your first 3 words. And then Bupcake on your birthday you said BUPCAKE!

I woke up one day and it was kindergarten registration.

You were reading, counting, and spelling! We had a few answers. ADHD, sensory processing disorder, oppositional defiant disorder. Possibly high functioning autism. Snuggles were few and far between. You were independent. You knew what you needed to do. You told me, "I can do it alone".

All of a sudden I was that mom who didn't know how to mom. Diapers, sleep deprivation, snuggles, and baby baths were easy. This was hard. Hard to watch you need me less. Hard to watch you be different and realize it. Hard to know I couldn't make everyone understand how AMAZING you were. Hard to educate people that you were NOT your diagnoses and quirks. Waiting for answers because you didn't fit in a single box.

Then something happened~ I didn't need to tell people how awesome you were. They saw it. Your classmates accepted you as you were. Your teachers recognized that you were special. They worked with you. They gave you room to be you. They found things you would excel at and tasks that would give you purpose. Reading 4th grade books independently. Being the letter carrier for the school because you remembered the layout after one trip. Being a peer reader and helper for kids struggling, because you always tell them "good job, you can do it".

Then today you reminded me that you're almost 7. You reminded me that in 48 hours I will have been your momma for 2,556 days. You showed me a loose tooth. You read me a story. You reminded me of the important things happening this week. You asked for Baked Lays and a ham sandwich, the same lunch you've had for months.

Then you hugged me. And for a split second I felt my sweet little babe. And remembered the hard nights and long days...and took a deep breath.

I am your momma. I may not always know what to do or how to do it....but I will always love you. I will always make sure you know that. I will make sure you grow up comfortable with who you are. I will pray that everyone can always see your quirks as special and amazing. I will always be waiting to lift you up and watch you soar!

Happy Birthday week sweet boy! I cannot wait to see where the future takes you!